This was a different kind of Mother's Day for you. And for me. The word cancer is so scary to hear, but it breaks my heart to associate it with you. This is what is known as "ugly beautiful". It's not something nice or even something that we would have chosen, but it is the gift that we have been given. God has some very special purpose for entrusting you with it.
One of my favorite songs says...
I could tune my ear to a bitter song, or choose hope's melody,
Curse the ground that I'm standing on, or pray for dancing feet.
I could shout at Heaven when rain pours down
Pounding hard on me,
Or I can cup my hands and drink of Him.
Whatever this life brings-
He is good, though I may not understand.
He is good...
I give thanks right where I am.
So I am choosing to be purposefully thankful, to give thanks right where I am for the ugliness of this new journey of yours (and therefore ours) and the beauty that I know it will bring along with it. For every crack in the road, and the beauty that I am already seeing through it...
- I heard your love for me in your mother's heart when you were nervous to tell me there was a potential health concern, and yet waited until I got home from driving in a monsoon so I wouldn't be on the road when you told me.
- I watched your hands shake when you heard the news. I saw your blood pressure high as we entered the doctor's office. It showed me you were not superwoman, and yet panic did not take over. Your faith did.
- I've seen you receive so much love from the people you've poured your life into. Some who were not always easy to love, and yet you did love them because it was the right thing to do - the thing God was calling you to do.
- I witnessed you unselfishly reaching out to comfort others when you should have been the one being comforted.
- I've seen dad anxious eyed and tight lipped because he loves you and is worried for you, and yet he is trusting God right along with you.
- I traced God leading you up to this point in your life just within the last month. Giving you exactly what you would need to get you through the shock of it all. You are still seeking His face.
- I have seen a gift card for lunch, beautiful flowers, friends waiting in the waiting room, encouraging texts/calls, and a meal made with love on your table on the busiest (and scariest) appointment day.
- I have heard sweet prayers on your behalf.
But the thing I am most thankful for is the honor of being with you through all of it. Of caring for you and helping you remember the questions you wanted to ask and what it was the doctor said. It IS an honor to be with you and help you through this. A high honor.